What Do Those Around You Reveal About You?

Dearest Wolfpack Family Member,

I hope this letter finds you well and that you can feel the virtual hug included in these words.

The Power and Influence of Your Social Circle

As we have more experiences, we naturally shift and change, sometimes outgrowing certain ideas, activities, or even people. While this is a normal part of life, it can be disconcerting. We often resist making changes to our social connections out of fear of loneliness when ironically, being around those who no longer align with our values can also lead to feelings of isolation.

Why Meaningful Relationships Matter: The Science of Social Connections

Research shows that our friends significantly influence our behavior and well-being. Happiness and healthy habits can spread through social networks, as can unhealthy behaviors. Healthy relationships provide essential emotional support, shape our perceptions of acceptable behavior, and boost our self-esteem. When we share goals, we enhance motivation and accountability, often imitating the positive behaviors of those around us. Ultimately, supportive relationships correlate with higher life satisfaction and happiness, highlighting the importance of nurturing positive connections.

According to Robin Dunbar, a British anthropologist, there is a cognitive limit to the number of stable social relationships we can maintain, emphasizing the importance of quality over quantity. Our core group typically consists of about five close individuals with whom we share our deepest thoughts and experiences. Beyond this, we have an extended circle, radiating out to acquaintances and social contacts, totaling around 150 relationships.

The Concept of Radiators and Drains

After interactions, we carry the energy created into our next moments and days. If you’ve ever left a meeting feeling depleted or negative, you’ve encountered a drain. In contrast, if you leave feeling nourished, lighter, and inspired, you’ve met a radiator. People can fall into either category at different times in our lives, and our past experiences often shape our feelings about these interactions. It is crucial to be aware of our energy levels during and after interactions and recognize the toxic dynamics that can hold us back. One-sided friendships, naysayers, energy drains, and chronic complainers can take a toll on our well-being in the long term.

It’s important to clarify that this isn’t about toxic positivity. Those in our lives don’t need to be perpetually happy and ‘up’ all the time to warrant our attention, but some individuals leave us feeling unsettled or unsupported. Some people in our lives may struggle with our changes because they are more comfortable with the ideas they have of us, or are afraid for us, which can lead to discouragement of our growth. We can still care about a person and acknowledge the positive aspects of their personality while ensuring our emotional safety from their negative traits or input. By prioritizing our boundaries and practicing self-care, we can navigate these relationships in a way that honors our well-being and maintains our energy.

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Emotional Safety

When these difficult relationships are with people we see a lot, like colleagues or family members, it can be challenging to reduce the time we spend with them. However, we can maintain good boundaries to protect our energy by setting clear limits on the duration and nature of interactions—designating specific times to engage and being mindful of how often we initiate contact. During times of personal change, when relationships may drift or become problematic, we might need to decline more invitations than we accept. Ultimately, this creates space to focus on our priorities and on people and activities that align with our personal goals.

Reflecting on Your Inner Circle: Who Lifts You Up?

When we invest time in meaningful connections, we can experience profound personal growth. Think for a moment about the people in your life who inspire you by modeling behaviors or attributes that encourage positive changes. Who celebrates your achievements and cheers you on as you take on new challenges? Do you have a mentor—someone, either in person or from afar, whom you look to for advice and knowledge? Lastly, who in your life challenges you? Is there a person who encourages you to step out of your comfort zone or view things from a new perspective? If you can think of someone for each of these traits, then you are very lucky.

Now, consider how much energy and time you devote to the nourishing relationships you have in your life compared to those that bring less value or have a negative effect on your growth. Remember that time and energy are different and that quality time is different to length of time. Showing up 100% for an hour with a friend, partner, child, or mentor—where you are both present and focused—carries more weight than a weekend spent multitasking, distracted by phones, or worrying about other commitments.

Of the other people in your circle, can you use the following questions to reflect on the energy they bring to your life?

• After our interactions, do I feel uplifted or drained?

• Do they inspire me? How?

• Do they challenge me to grow? How?

• What are we teaching each other about life?

• Why do I want this person in my inner circle?

Cultivating Your Nourishing Inner Circle

In the end, it takes discipline and courage to distance ourselves from those who do not serve our growth, choosing instead to seek out connections that resonate with us. Lowering your expectations just to have someone in your life can lead to unsatisfying connections. Focus on fostering supportive and loyal relationships that align with your values, allowing you to build meaningful connections that enrich your life and promote personal growth.

By being intentional about the relationships we cultivate, we can create a nurturing environment that supports our journey toward a happier, more fulfilled life. Remember, it’s not about the quantity of friends but the quality of connections that truly matters. Surround yourself with those who uplift, inspire, and challenge you to become the best version of yourself!

Connection on the Path of Yoga

The path of yoga, or any form of awakening, can often feel isolating. As you practice and study, applying these principles to daily life, you might find that family, coworkers, and old friends don’t understand your journey, leading to feelings of loneliness and self-doubt.

This is completely normal and a sign that you’re on the right path. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone; millions are seeking to discover the mysteries of life and themselves alongside you, even if you don’t know them yet.

Trust that they are there!

This is why we are building this online community where people can focus on themselves and know they’re not alone. True community is a feeling within your heart, not necessarily the presence of others who share your journey. We support each other from a distance through love and kindness. This feeling of belonging and connection is at the core of yoga—connection to all and to the divine. We’re all working on raising our own vibration, and as millions do, the entire vibration on a global scale is rising. A rising tide lifts all boats. The global awakening is happening right now, and you’re part of it. You can join us every month, live, to chat about your journey, your dreams and connect with like-minded souls at our family gatherings. Find out more here.

So let’s look at practical everyday actions you can take to build and maintain this nourishing inner circle. Here are our top tips!